Section 400’s Super Bowl LIX Roundtable

Happy Super Bowl week to everyone up in the nosebleeds! With the football season coming to a close, and our staff expanding by the month, we only felt it was perfect timing for a final roundtable to close out what was a long, mostly fun, but sometimes depressing (mainly for Brian and Jack) football season.

In today’s special roundtable, Brian asks the full Views crew every important question heading into Super Bowl LIX. Who will score the first touchdown? What song will Kendrick Lamar play first at halftime? Which unlikely hero will shine on Sunday? Find out below!

Hurts So Good?

With half of you being Eagles fans, you know I had to start off hot with this question. We’ve talked about Jalen Hurts way too often throughout 150 episodes of the podcast. If he wins this game, where does he rank in your NFL quarterback power rankings?

Brian: I’m ready to admit I have no idea where to rank Jalen Hurts among the NFL quarterbacks in the league. I tried to explain why he was an average quarterback on our show a few episodes ago and turned my own brain into a pretzel, so I can’t imagine how the listeners felt. If Philadelphia wins this game because of Jalen Hurts, I’ll throw him in the “elite” category. I just have a hard time seeing a world where that’s the case.

Matt: Hurts will be in the top five quarterback discussion if he claims a ring, no doubt. As a fan I’d argue he should be in the top three.

Jack: With a Super Bowl ring, Hurts will rank very comfortably at No. 5 for me right behind the big four (Allen, Burrow, Jackson, Mahomes).

Will: I agree with Jack, although I’m not sure if he is right at No. 5. I’ll rank him just outside the top five.

Nick: Hurts is not a huge numbers type of guy. He controls the ball well and has big game experience both in the NFL and college, but doesn’t seem like a guy that can do it all himself. Benefitting around his situation has helped but I think he’s top seven, in the same area as Jayden Daniels, C.J. Stroud and Jared Goff. To put an exact number, I would say No. 6, with Goff at 7.

Colin: I agree with Matt. Jalen Hurts ranks third if the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

Austin: Like Colin, I agree with Matt. I have to put Hurts at No. 3.

GOAT?

Patrick Mahomes is on pace to finish with more Super Bowl wins than Tom Brady. You don’t have to let me know if he wins this game, at least not yet, but how many will he finish with by the end of his already Hall of Fame worthy career?

Brian: Since we’ve started ‘Views’, I have lived by three sports principles; Auburn Basketball is very good, Grimace is my savior, and I will never, ever, bet against Patrick Mahomes. Surpassing Tom Brady may be a tougher task than achieving a red belt in Jiu-Jitsu, but Patrick Mahomes will do it. He finishes the best career of all time with nine Super Bowl rings.

Matt: I think Mahomes finishes with one less than Brady (6). The teams in the league will start to figure out the All-Pro, Super Bowl winning quarterback sooner rather than later.

Jack: I expect Kansas City to three-peat this year, but surely they can’t four-peat… right? Mahomes finishes a great career with six super bowl rings. Somehow, someway, I have agreed with Matt.

Will: I think he’ll win six super bowls, one less than the GOAT, Tom Brady.

Nick: I’ll go with five. If Kelce retires after this game, we could see a bit of a changing of the guard while the Chiefs re-tool. The AFC race next season, and the following seasons, may be much tighter. Mahomes will probably win this year though. The only way the Chiefs lose is if he doesn’t have a chance to tie or take the lead in the fourth quarter. If it’s a close game, the game is over.

Colin: If Mahomes loses on Sunday, he’s never winning a Super Bowl again. The Chiefs quarterback finishes his career with three.

Austin: Mahomes will finish with five in his career. The NFL will make sure Brady doesn’t get his record beaten. Mahomes will eventually get figured out, especially when ‘Big Red’ can’t coach anymore.

Grammys & Gumbo

I’m happy to say that most of us, excluding maybe the new guy Colin, have reached the age where the Super Bowl halftime show features artists we grew up loving. Out of all the songs in Kendrick Lamar’s discography, which will he play first on Sunday? If you’d like to give a sharp pick for betting purposes let me know which song you are hoping he performs first as well!

Brian: For the pure sake of making our drinking game (which you can download here) the most fun possible, I hope you starts off the night with ‘Swimming Pools’. I think we’ll see strobe lights and about 67 backup dancers go crazy to the beat of ‘Squabble Up’ though.

Matt: ‘Humble’ or ‘DNA’, I think. I would love to hear ‘Not Like Us’ at some point. That song gets the juices flowing!

Jack: ‘TV Off’… pure heat.

Will: Give me ‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe’ to start it off.

Nick: I could see it being ‘Squabble Up’ or ‘DNA’, but selfishly I would want ‘Backseat Freestyle’.

Colin: I’ll go with ‘Humble’ or ‘Not Like Us’.

Austin: The general population wants ‘Not Like Us’, but I’m hammering ‘King Kunta’ as first song.

I Need A Hero!

Whether it’s Malcolm Smith, Antwaan Randle El, Paul Richardson, or Mecole Hardman, an unsung hero almost always seems to rise to the occasion on the biggest stage. Do you see a player that could do that on Sunday?

Brian: Mid-season acquisition Samaje Perine seems to be the perfect candidate in Super Bowl 59. The Philadelphia secondary is going to take away Kansas City’s wide receivers, leaving the veteran pass catching back with plenty of room to work underneath. I simply don’t trust the other Chiefs tail backs to produce enough to warrant snaps in what could turn into an ugly game.

Matt: Nolan Smith becomes the hero with a game sealing sack for the Birds!

Jack: The Chiefs and Eagles are oozing with star power on both sides of the ball. We’re going to see the stars shine, but if I need to pick a more low key guy, give me Noah Gray.

Will: I’m thinking the same way as Matt. Nolan Smith has been playing very well in the playoffs, and he’ll continue that in the Super Bowl.

Nick: I’ll go with Noah Gray. With Nakobe Dean hurt, the Eagles will put a lot of focus on Travis Kelce. I could see the Chiefs running a lot of two tight end sets and getting 10-15 yard plays in crucial situations to Gray. He also will score a touchdown.

Colin: Cooper Dejean.

Austin: I really don’t have one in mind. But if I had to pick, let’s go Will Shipley. I believe this game will come down to the best players on both sides making plays drive-for-drive, and one mistake on a bad snap will determine game.

Wallet Stuffers

For the final time this season, give me your best bet heading into Sunday. I’m not going to lie, writing that made me kind of sad. Football, you will be missed.

Brian: I tend to be a very unlucky person. That motif of misfortune manifests itself the most in my Super Bowl first touchdown scorer prop bets, with a close second coming from camera-given speeding tickets. Whether it’s Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Kyle Juszczyk, or Kadirus Toney, the long shot I always choose to start off the scoring waits until later in the game to find pay dirt. That changes this year, when Justin Watson (+6000) scores the first touchdown.

Matt: I’m keeping it simple. Eagles (+1.5) to cover the spread.

Jack: Matt’s keeping it simple so I’ll get a little weird. Saquon Barkley to score a touchdown in the first quarter (+410) on Fan Duel.

Will: Devonta Smith 80+ receiving yards. He has very good numbers against Steve Spagnuolo defenses.

Nick: Will is 100 percent correct about Smith. The former Heisman Trophy winner scores a touchdown (+230), and he might get in twice.

Colin: I’ll give out two. Jalen Hurts to score a touchdown (-115), and the opening coin toss to land on tails.

Austin: I have two. Eagles (-3) on the alternate line and OVER 5.5 total touchdowns between the two teams.

Brass Tax

Does Patrick Mahomes become the first quarterback to ever win three consecutive Super Bowls, or do the Eagles hoist the Lombardi for the first time since 2017? Which player wins MVP?

Brian: Kansas City makes history, with Patrick Mahomes once again earning the MVP. The 29-year-old throws for 246 yards and a pair of touchdowns in a 26-22 victory.

Matt: Eagles win it, and Jalen Hurts takes home MVP despite a strong day from Barkley.

Jack: I’m going with the Chiefs. I’m not betting against Mahomes, who will win his fourth Super Bowl MVP, and third in a row. I do reserve a small possibility Chris Jones wins MVP with a Chiefs win.

Will: Philadelphia wins with Jalen Hurts earning MVP.

Nick: Kansas City wins it again. I said this to my friend who’s a Chiefs fan, not trying to hype him up. Super Bowl rematches never go in the initial loser. I don’t think Hurts has what it takes to change that stat. The Chiefs will win by 2 scores, 33-23. Mahomes will get MVP, if he throws multiple touchdowns and gets a run in, it’s undeniable.

Colin: Eagles win the Super Bowl, with Saquon Barkley taking home MVP.

Austin: Exactly what Colin said.