Once in every blue moon, or after a few beverages sharing the same name as the latter half of that expression, I stumble upon a sports story that is so unbelievably believable it makes me giggle into oblivion.
That phenomenon was the inspiration for our Michael of the Week segment on the podcast here in Section 400.
My entry into this week’s Michael segment was my favorite in over a few blue moons, as the Rockies 9-50 start to the season made me stumble upon the ridiculously fascinating shortly-lived Union Association. Specifically the worst team in the professional baseball league, the Kansas City Cowboys.
@views.from.400 Are the Colorado Rockies the worst sports team of all time? We can’t decide… #podcast #reaction #sports #nba #nbaplayoffs #football #nfldraft #nfl #mlb #baseball #debate #fantasyfootball
As you’ll hear in the clip above, the Cowboys, or possibly the Unions (records on the teams actual name are contentious), sported an awful 16-63-3 record to finish in last place in the twelve team Union Association. Kansas City finished 61 games behind the first place St. Louis Maroons, who won 94 games while losing just 19.
The Maroons .832 winning percentage is the best mark by any team in professional baseball history. Stash that tidbit for the next time your bronx bozo of a friend brings up the 1927 Yankees.
Those of you with a keen eye may have already noticed something wacky. The league-winning St. Louis Maroons had more wins (94) than the Cowboys had games played (82).
It only gets crazier from there. Kansas City – the team which somehow managed to finish in second to last pace – had more wins than the Wilmington Quicksteps (2), St. Paul Saints (2), Altoona Mountain Citys (6), and the Milwaukee Brewers (not those Milwaukee Brewers) (8).
These Brewers – because I know everyone is curious – were a minor league team that made the jump to the Union Association from the Northwestern League late in the season along with the St. Paul Saints. The Saints, who were commonly referred to as the ‘Apostles’, ironically rostered 12 men during their brief stint as a professional franchise.
This version of the Brewers (1) was delivered a less holy fate unfortunately, with the team ceasing to exist just a year after it’s short run in the UA. A new Brewers franchise (2) would begin a year later, with the team eventually moving from league-to-league before settling down in the American Association in 1902. The team played it’s home games at the Wright Street Grounds, which is now seemingly a family’s backyard.
The club eventually became the AAA affiliate of the Boston Braves until 1952, when Braves owner Lou Perini moved his team from Boston to Milwaukee, ending the Brewers stint as a minor league club.
The Braves eventually moved to Atlanta in 1966, paving the way for the future MLB commissioner Bud Selig owned Seattle Pilots – he won the team in a bankruptcy auction – to move back to Wisconsin, and become the Brewers (3) in 1969.
But back to the star of this blog, the Kansas City Unions/Cowboys/Kaycees. The first professional baseball team to represent the city, these lovable losers took over for the defunct Altoona Mountain Citys, who’s downfall was not hard to predict considering the person in charge had a hard time grasping plural nouns.
Kansas City’s best player by wins above replacement (WAR) was 19-year-old catcher Kid Baldwin. The 5-foot-6, 147-pound catcher, outfielder, and third basemen finished his seven-year career with a .221 batting average, .299 slugging percentage, and -1.8 WAR. He would retire at the grizzly age of 25, before passing away seven years later.
The Cowboys’ top pitcher may have not lived to see the creation of the GNX, or Kendrick Lamar’s album by the same name, but Peek-A-Boo Veach was a heck of a hurler, probably because opposing hitters had a such hard time seeing the 6-foot right-hander.
He led the team with a 2.42 earned run average in 1884, but would start, and pitch in, just one more game during his three-year baseball career. Peek-A-Boo went the distance in that 1887 contest, striking out 2 hitters while walking 8 and allowing 5 runs to score.
The greatest team of all time by winning percentage, the only professional baseball team worse through 60 games than the Rockies, and the Milwaukee Brewers. What a league, what a team, the Kansas City Unions.
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