I’ve been staring at my computer screen for nearly 20 full minutes trying to come up with the words to properly state how devastated I am to be writing this blog. Every 4th of July in my house is the same. I wake up to some Toby Keith, take a shower, throw on my navy blue Vince Carter “Team USA” basketball jersey and some red shorts, put on some sunglasses, drive around with the windows down, head to either the beach, the pool, or the ballpark, go about my day, then turn on ESPN 2 to witness the greatest athlete in the world inhale an unhealthy amount of pork on his way to another “Mustard Belt”.
This year that changes. This year, the pounder of pasteurized pig, the sultan of sooie, the greatest eater on planet Earth, Joey Chestnut, has been banned from the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. The ban was announced by Major League Eating (MLE) and Nathan’s on Tuesday afternoon in a press release. Everyone in the greatest country in the world, including its most hungry man, was blindsided.
MLE and Nathan’s claimed Chestnut’s sponsorship deal with vegan company “Impossible Foods” is the reason for the ban. As co-chairman of MLE George Shea bluntly put it in an interview with the Washington Post, competitors should “not represent a rival hot dog brand.” While the sentiment of conflicting interests may be fair, it does seem hypocritical for a brand built around binge eating to limit it’s most recognizable face to sponsorship deals only they see fit. To put it in a proper metaphor, Chestnut should be able to bring home the bacon, both real and soy-based, in any way he deems reasonable. This dude has 16 “Mustard Belts” in 17 years. Other than a brief villian-arc from the since blackballed Takeru Kobayashi or an underdog story from now YouTuber Matt Stonie, Joey Chestnut IS the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
This is like baseball banning Shohei Ohtani (maybe before the betting scandal), this is football banning Patrick Mahomes, this is George Washington banning boats on Christmas Day in a small town in Pennsylvania. My 4th of July isn’t ruined, but it sure got a lot less American after this news dropped. The Mets better get a freaking win on America’s birthday.
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