The NBA Is Hilariously Dumb

I’ve taken a bit of an extended break from blogging on our website, mainly due to the responsibilities involved with adult life and the ensuing navigation that goes along with that. While we reacted to the laughably ridiculous results of last night’s NBA Draft Lottery on today’s podcast, I felt like my true opinion on what transpired needed more words.

So now we are here. I, at least geographically speaking, am in a city that mostly does not want to be here after last night’s bingo balls were spun.

That city is Washington, DC, home of course to the Washington Wizards, whom tanked the “right way” for the entirety of the season, using young prospects to fall upwards in an attempt to plummet down the standings.

All of that just to secure a 14% chance at acquiring an 18-year-old lanky white kid from Maine that happens to be the most polarizing basketball prospect since his now fellow alumnus, Zion Williamson, came out of Duke in 2019.

I use the word polarizing purposely there, because I know about 70 percent of you reading that are ready to tell me I forgot about the absurdly tall french fellow who’s hype and overseas dominance rivaled that of his country’s most historically famous military leader’s ego.

Everyone knew Victor Wembanyama was going to be napoleon dynamite in the NBA, and while the same can be said about Cooper Flagg, plenty question marks are still surrounding the young man with facial blemishes as red as the lobsters that come from his home state.

This blog post isn’t about Flagg, or Wemby, or Zion, but rather how Adam Silver, David Stearns, and every other executive and owner governor have manipulated an association that could be the pinnacle of parity into a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that only those with enough money to feed Disney and Turner’s corporate greed can actively participate in.

Nico Harrison and the Dallas Mavericks were rewarded with the No. 1 pick in the upcoming NBA Draft while teams actively attempting to fight their way out of mediocrity, like the Wizards, were kicked to the curb. It was not luck.

Conspiracy theories, especially when they relate to sports, are often baseless, unfounded claims. But when it comes to what happened last night, coincidences to not exist.

Let’s just do a dive through the past five draft lottery results, and subsequent NBA Drafts, and you can see for yourself. Feel free to put on a tin foil hat with me here. I’ll make a final verdict at the end.

2025 Winner: Dallas Mavericks 

Nico Harrison traded Luka Doncic to the Lakers at the trade deadline in a deal no analysts, executives, or other members of the league understood. Harrison did not take calls from any other franchises other than Los Angeles. The trade happened during a year in which the media rights surrounding the NBA were in purgatory and constant ratings reports indicated the association was losing viewership drastically.

No NBA Finals had averaged more than 9 Million viewers since 2018, when Lebron James would end his streak of Finals appearances with a loss to the Warriors. Every Finals involving Lebron, other than the bubble Finals, eclipsed 9 Million eyeballs. Huh…

Dallas ownership has stayed consistent on the notion it wants to expand it’s gambling empire into a casino surrounding American Airlines Arena. While the NBA may not be able to sway the politicians in the state of Texas, Adam Silver and company can expidite a move from Dallas to say, Las Vegas, once the lease on American Airlines arena ends in 2031.

Who better to headline the team that makes that move than a 24-year-old Cooper Flagg, who will likely be given a lucrative extension entering the final season of his rookie contract.

2024 Winner: Atlanta Hawks

The NBA gave the home of Turner Sports the No. 1 overall pick in a historically bad draft class as a final bargaining chip in hopes of securing a long-term television deal before the media circus involving contract disputes and the possible cancellation of the beloved ‘Inside the NBA’ program became public.

2023 Winner: San Antonio Spurs

Since making the jump from the ABA in 1976, the Spurs had missed the playoffs just four times before 2019. The five-time NBA Finals Champions subsequently missed out on postseason play in the COVID-shortened season, 2020-2021, and 2022-2023. A franchise that had never missed the playoffs in back-to-back seasons was on the precipice of poverty.

With no identity moving forward, the league stepped in and handed the Spurs possibly the greatest prospect of all time.

2022 Winner: Orlando Magic

The United States was still struggling to navigate the post-COVID world in early 2022. Disney was hit hard. The company’s CEO. Bob Iger, was contemplating stepping down, the biggest franchises in the Disney catalog were struggling to re-find footing in the box office, and travel to Orlando was declining for obvious reasons.

Why not gift the hometown team the No. 1 pick to help the Magic secure the talents of a kid from Duke who helped bring Coach K to the Final Four in his final season of college basketball.

2021 Winner: Detroit Pistons

I’m not going to lie, I think the NBA just had too many other issues to worry about rigging this lottery. The Cavaliers winning this one would be logical for the “rigged” allegations, but I’m simply going with the fact Adam Silver didn’t care enough about reviving the Pistons, Rockets, or Cavs to pull the strings with this one.

Verdict

Yeah this thing is more corrupt than Elon Musk’s X algorithm.

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