Ladies and gentlemen buckle up because tonight’s slate is a crime against humanity.

This isn’t going to be fun, but for the sake of continuity, especially considering we took a week off of doing this column, the show must go on.

Every weekday, the guys from Section 400 will take you through the slate of games they have their eyes on. No matter how great or disgusting it looks.

Today’s slate is disgusting.

Let’s get into it.

The best.

• (NCAAB) Clemson vs. Miami
• (NHL) Devils vs. Capitals

Every major conference besides the SEC (it just means more another week into January I guess) has started conference play.

This includes the ACC. The conference is clearly no longer the class of college basketball, and that is fine. The ACC is still a great conference with a profusion of teams that can make a deep run into March.

Somebody should let the executives over at ESPN know other schools exist outside of the Atlantic Coast though. The network brings us this showdown between No. 16 Clemson and 10-2 Miami just a night after ESPN aired an ACC doubleheader featuring UNC vs. Pittsburgh and Syracuse vs. Duke.

This game should be good and I’m not going to sit here and say Duquesne vs. UMass should be on the main network instead (although I would love that), but ESPN’s ACC bias is a tired trend.

As for the game, Miami is still an offensive juggernaut powered by forwards Norchad Omier, Matthew Cleveland, and guards Nijel Pack and Wooga Poplar.

Clemson is much of the same but plays a wink more defense. Syracuse transfer Joseph Girard III has paired nicely with forward P.J Hall to give the Tigers a fantastic inside-out attack.

I recommend staying away from betting this one, but expect a fun, up-and-down game with plenty of lead changes.

Hockey brings us just two games today but the first one is a treat on TNT.

Jack Hughes and the 19-14-2 New Jersey Devis travel to the nation’s capital to take on the 18-11-6 Capitals tonight. The aforementioned Hughes is tied for 12th in the NHL with 44 points. He should once again lead the Garden State into the playoffs.

As for the Capitals, Alexander Ovechkin keeps on chugging towards the all-time goals record. Luckily for him and Capitals fans, Washington is surprisingly competitive this year. I should probably make my way downtown for a game before they move over to Virginia.

The best of the rest.

• (NBA) Bucks vs. Pacers
• (NBA) Heat vs. Lakers

Tonight is the fifth and final meeting of the season between the Indiana Pacers and the Milwaukee Bucks. Prior to this season, These two teams had met no more than four times a year since 1996, with the final game coming in March or later. We are 33 games through the NBA season.

With all due respect, Adam what are we doing.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved watching these squads battle it out this season, but it would be nice if we got to see it post-All Star break when they actually care.

This game is worth a watch.

Miami traveling to Los Angeles is also worth tuning in for and I don’t really feel the need to explain why. Jimmy Butler will be out however.

The rest.

(NCAAB) Rest of slate

I expect if you are reading this deep into the article you’re here for my college basketball bet of the day. Somehow, someway, we are on a scorching hot run of 20-8 to start the regular season.

I told you today’s slate was gross, but I did find something I like enough to write up. I know Louisville’s basketball program is a bigger joke than Rick Pitino’s credit card statement after a recruit comes into town but here me out.

The Cardinals haven’t been THAT bad this year. Louisville has five players averaging 40% or better from the field. Those numbers aren’t great, and the 3-point numbers are horrific BUT they are good enough to score around 55 points in a slow-paced game.

Now, Virginia loves to play slow-paced games, especially when they can control the tempo at home. Given the Cavaliers aren’t very good offensively either (they just had a laughable loss to Notre Dame) a 15.5-point spread tonight is too large.

Louisville can, and will, keep this close for the first 32 minutes.

Also Western Carolina taking on the Citadel should be entertaining for those with an ESPN+ subsription.

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